Parenting expert Dr. Becky Kennedy offers practical advice for parents seeking to connect with their children through gaming. She recently partnered with Xbox to provide strategies for engaging with kids' digital worlds. This collaboration highlights a growing desire among gamers, with 70% expressing a wish to pass on their passion for gaming to the next generation^[1][2][3]. Dr. Kennedy's insights aim to bridge the gap between parents and children, fostering understanding and strengthening family bonds. ### Understanding Their Digital World Dr. Kennedy emphasizes the importance of entering a child's gaming world through curiosity. Parents should ask open-ended questions about their children's favorite games^[1][2][3]. This approach helps parents understand what captivates their kids and what the games teach them^[1][3]. For example, games can reveal a child's creativity, problem-solving skills, and even their inner feelings^[1][3]. Dr. Kennedy states, "I'm big on avoiding shame and panic in parents."^[4] She encourages parents to view gaming as a window into their child's personality and development, rather than just a pastime^[1]. Understanding a child's motivations for playing, whether it is for creativity, independence, or comfort, is the first step before any intervention^[2][5]. ### Setting Clear Expectations and Boundaries Establishing clear boundaries is crucial for a positive gaming experience, Dr. Kennedy explains^[1][2][3]. Parents should set these rules before gameplay begins and maintain consistency^[2][3]. This helps children understand what to expect. Dr. Kennedy advises parents to "embody authority" regarding screen time, reminding them that they can always adjust boundaries, even if children protest^[4]. She also suggests "emotional vaccination" or pre-regulation. This involves preparing children for how they might feel when screen time ends^[4]. Parents can say, "I know, it's a bummer that device time is over! You're allowed to be upset" to help children tolerate their feelings^[4]. This approach teaches kids to cope with disappointment and seek other activities^[4]. She emphasizes that "children's feelings don't dictate a parent's boundaries, and a parent's boundaries don't dictate a child's feelings."^[4] ### Engaging Actively and Thoughtfully Active engagement does not always mean playing the game yourself. Simple actions, such as sitting alongside children while they play, can spark meaningful conversations^[1][3]. This makes children feel seen, understood, and valued^[3]. Dr. Kennedy also advocates for her "Play No Phone" (PNP) strategy^[5][4]. This means putting phones away to give children full, undivided attention during play^[5][4]. Even short, focused periods of play, as little as five minutes, can significantly fill a child's emotional cup^[5]. This can reduce power struggles and increase cooperation throughout the day^[5]. For families looking for age-appropriate games, Dr. Kennedy and Xbox recommend titles like Minecraft, Bluey the Video Game, Paw Patrol World, Crash Team Racing Nitrofueled, and Astroneer^[1][2][3]. When discussing screen time, Dr. Kennedy suggests framing it as "you and your child against screen time struggles," rather than parents against children^[4]. This fosters a collaborative approach to managing digital habits. ### Beyond the Screen: Fostering Other Skills While gaming can be positive, Dr. Kennedy highlights that excessive screen time can hinder the development of essential skills^[4]. These include emotion regulation, attention, frustration tolerance, and independent play^[4]. Children need opportunities to work through challenges, use creativity, and explore the world through their senses^[4]. Screens, she notes, often provide immediate gratification without effort, which can impede the ability to focus and bounce back from failure^[4]. Dr. Kennedy stresses the importance of building a child's capacity for independent play and resilience^[4]. She explains, "Boredom is important to kids because it's one thing that leads them to try new things."^[4] Encouraging outdoor time is another strategy, as it promotes movement, exploration, self-confidence, and problem-solving skills^[4]. Parents can model healthy screen relationships by putting their own devices away, even for short periods^[4]. By embracing curiosity, setting clear boundaries, and actively engaging with their children's digital and real-world play, parents can transform gaming into a powerful tool for connection and development. This balanced approach helps families navigate the modern landscape of technology while strengthening their bonds.

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